This almost felt like a Criminal Minds' take on a Valentine's Day episode, pushed unnaturally back by the Olympic hiatus.
That, and the whole Barnes fiasco.
Two tales of love gone wrong were featured on Criminal Minds Season 13 Episode 18.
Let's start with the midnight callers getting murdered by one twisted Romeo.
Or Juliet, as the unsub ended up being.
The episode played like a clever twist on the Clint Eastwood movie Play Misty for Me, only with the DJ's obsessed fans being killed by his paranoid wife.
Related: Criminal Minds Season 13 Episode 17 Review: The Capilanos
My money was on DJ Craig being the unsub, although I couldn't come up with a motive for the killings.
I know, I know. An understandable motive is never a requirement on this series. Most times, the murders only make any kind of sense in the unsub's mind.
But this spree actually had a warped kind of logic. Cheryl was killing off "rivals" for her husband's affections so that the renewal of their vows wouldn't get derailed.
That not Craig hadn't given her reason for concern. After all, the first time we met Craig, he was dumping his latest girlfriend, Janice. Apparently, he wasn't too subtle about that tryst, as apparently, Cheryl knew how to find Janice.
The fun thing was watching the BAU trying to crack the obscure symbolism that was part of the killings. I'm surprised they got song titles, then a DJ as unsub, as quickly as they did. That was a little off, but still, high points for deductive reasoning.
You would think with so many forms of media, radio would be dying. But thanks to internet and satellite broadcasting, the medium is thriving.
So, yeah, trying to find a single channel or even program with the right blend of music was certainly a daunting class. Good thing Alvez came up with the idea of checking the personal nurse's employer's phone calls, which helped them to narrow down the field considerably.
Related: Watch Criminal Minds Online: Season 13 Episode 17
It wasn't in time to save Craig, of course. It's always a surprise when the most recognizable among the guest stars (in this case, Jason Gedrick) doesn't survive through the end.
Craig's death also showed the team wasn't quite on the right track. The photo of Cheryl with her garden shears got them going in the right direction, however.
Then, in the end, Simmons was able to reach Cheryl's inner romantic, and inner loon, by talking about her husband's music in the air around her. That was a much better conclusion to the case than the too-frequent suicide.
The other case involved Rossi ruining another relationship, and he wasn't even the groom this time.
We got to meet another of Rossi's ex-wives (who must have a Facebook group). This time it was Krystall, the third ex-wife, a former Vegas card dealer.
Didn't Garcia and Prentiss delight in the tale of Rossi and Krystall being married by a drunk Elvis impersonator then annulling the marriage shortly thereafter, when they sobered up.
Rossi has always been the BAU member with the most well-rounded life outside the office, along with JJ and Simmons, the other two who have families.
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Poor Rossi can't even get together with an old friend without it turning into a case.
He tried just being a genial host, showing Krystall and the happy couple his world, then serving up homemade pasta and good wine.
But then, Wick had to go and set off Rossi's craze-dar.
First off, with a name such as Wick, you had to be suspicious. Rossi picked up some vibes he didn't like, then he had Garcia do a little online snooping. He was determined to protect Krystall and the surrogate daughter he'd just met.
Garcia does nothing halfway. Her deep dive discovered that Wick had broken off three engagements over the past three years, walking away with money each other. So he was a con man at best, an abuser at worst.
Wick made the mistake of rubbing in the fact that he had talked Portia into continuing with the wedding. Rossi may look like everyone's favorite nonnino, but it was hilarious how he quickly had Wick convinced that he would soon be sleeping with the psychos.
Rossi and Krystall made a comfortable couple. I never quite figured out if she and Portia's father were still together, but if not, I wouldn't mind seeing she and Rossi try being in a relationship again.
This is how you do a clean, self-contained episode, with no pesky subplots. There was a good deal of mental gymnastics, and everyone seemed to be involved, with no characters seemingly in the background. Too often I try to remember afterward if Lewis or Alvez were even in an episode.
With only four episodes left, watch Criminal Minds online.
Did you predict the rosebud killer was a woman? How did you enjoy the Rossi solo action? Who else needs some love in the little bit of the season that's left?
Comment below.
This post appear first on Criminal Minds Season 13 Episode 18 Review: The Dance of Love by Dale McGarrigle
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